Broken Wings
by Hanakosong
Summary: [post s8] Castiel and the rest of the angels have fallen. So...now what? Dean finds a broken Cas and attempts to fix him up and transition him into human life. But it won't be easy, not with Cas' conscious fighting against him. *may contain spoilers*
1. Fallen

Cas stood on that hill, staring up at the sky, long after all the angels had fallen. He couldn't seem to process the full truth of what had actually happened. The truth felt like something that someone else was feeling. It wasn't really there but he knew it affected him in some way.

Everything just felt so…numb.

That was, until a sharp, slicing pain shot across his back, causing him to cry out and fall to his knees. Cas wrapped his arms around his torso, grinding his teeth together and rocking slightly. Cas squeezed his eyes shut and cried out in agony, his cry echoing across the open space before him.

Cas' hand began to feel very odd. He forced his eyes open and slowly removed his trembling hands so he could look at them. In the dim light of the lonesome moon, Cas could see a thick, dark liquid coating his hands.

With wide, terrified eyes, Cas sat there on his knees, his hands in front of him coated in the thick liquid, not knowing what to do as the feeling of detachment started to creep back into his body.

Cas didn't react at all as the squeal of tires on asphalt sounded behind him, the headlights of the car washing over him. There was a distant sound of a car door slamming shut and a voice, muffled and slurred.

Then, instead of falling deeper into his detachment, Cas could suddenly feel every molecule of his being pulling against him, fighting him, dragging him back to consciousness. Cas' vision began to come back, everything a blurry mess before him until everything suddenly snapped back into clarity.

Blinking, Cas found himself staring into worried green irises.

"Cas? God dammit Cas, answer me! Tell me you can hear me!" The words began to register and identify to Cas.

"Dean?" Cas said in a soft voice, not entirely sure what was reality and what was hallucination.

Relief flooded Dean's eyes as he firmly gripped Cas' shoulders in his hands.

"Thank God, Cas. I thought I lost you there for a moment. Do me a favor and never scare me like that again."

Cas just stared back at Dean, giving a small nod.

"What happened, Cas?" Dean asked in a low, gentle tone.

Cas had to sit for a moment and think about Dean' question. What had happened? Cas knew that he should have an answer for Dean, he was there, and he had witnessed it. But what had happened?

Panicking, Cas looked down at his hands. When he saw that the thick liquid still coated his skin, everything came rushing back in a sharp movement that sent Cas doubling over, clutching his temples tightly and groaning in pain.

"Cas!?" Dean called anxiously, placing a hand on his back. But he quickly withdrew his hand in shock, his fingers instantly coated with the same thick liquid that covered Cas' hands. The substance gave off a very metallic stench and stained Dean's skin when he tried to rub it off on the grass.

That was when Dean caught sight of two large objects sprawled out behind Cas's hunched form. Looking down at the objects in stunned silence, Dean put everything together without Cas' explanation. Dean turned back to Cas and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Cas," he whispered gently. "Can you remember?"

Dean watched Cas straighten up, dropping his hands from his temples, which were now covered in the dark liquid. Cas' blue eyes were wide and fixated ahead on nothing.

"Yes, I can remember," he said quietly. Turning his face towards Dean, he whispered. "All of the angels, have fallen. And it's my fault, Dean. It's all my fault."

Dean shook his head. "No, Cas. It's okay. You're okay. Everything is going to be fine. Let's head back to the motel and-"

"No, Dean!" Cas snapped, shrugging off Dean's hand with a sudden surge of fury. "Everything is not going to be okay! Heaven has fallen and now there is no hope!"

The fury suddenly vanished from Cas' eyes, melting away to be replaced by a broken expression. "I'm not an angel anymore, Dean. I'm a human."

Cas and Dean sat, staring at each other for a long, suspended moment as the truth sank in with both of them.

Looking down at his hands, Cas took a shaky breath. "This is my blood, isn't it? And it came from my back…" Cas trailed off as the realization hit him like a blow to the chest.

Slowly, Cas began to crane his head around behind him to the two splayed objects behind him.

Dean's hand stopped Cas' venturing gaze from laying eyes on the catastrophe behind him.

"No, Cas," Dean whispered as he pulled Cas' head onto his shoulder, holding him around the shoulders and keeping him close. "Don't look. It won't do you any good."

"My-my wings, Dean…" Cas muttered in shock. "My wings…"

"I know…I know. I'm so sorry, Cas," Dean whispered into Cas' scruffy brown hair. "But we have to keep moving. Let's get you back to the motel and clean you up, okay?"

Like a small child, Cas turned his face into Dean's warm leather jacket and nodded his head.

Dean helped Cas to stand and stood in between Cas and the broken wings on the ground. Shielding Cas' eyes from them, Dean led the broken angel to the Impala. Dean guided Cas into the passenger seat, helping him to fasten the seatbelt before looking Cas in the eyes.

"When we drive away, promise me you won't look at your wings, okay? You have to promise me, Cas."

Cas looked up, staring deeply into Dean's eyes. "I won't, I promise."

Dean gave him a small smile and a nod.

Dean went around and climbed into the drivers seat, gunning the Impala to life and throwing the car into reverse.

As the Impala drew away from the space, Cas kept his eye fixed on his blood-covered hands that sat limply in his lap. But when Dean put the Impala into gear, Cas slowly began to raise his eyes, discarding his promise to Dean, wanting so desperately to know what he had done to his brothers and sisters, to Heaven, to humanity, to himself. He had to see those broken wings laying on the ground for himself.

It was his punishment.

Just as his eyes began to clear the top of the dashboard, Dean's hand was blocking his vision.

"You promised me, Cas," he reminded Cas softly.

Cas hesitated before lowering his head again.

"I know," he replied quietly.

* * *

Once they had returned to the motel, Dean helped Cas into the room, guiding his slumping form into the bathroom. Dean then proceeded to help Cas remove his trench coat and shirt so they could be washed. The wounds and amount of blood on Cas' back caused Dean's breath to hitch in his throat. Shaking his head, he left the two pieces of clothing on the bathroom counter and grabbed a cloth.

Dean glanced out at a sleeping Sam before turning his attention to Cas. Dean's heart ached when he looked down at Cas' broken expression as he sat in the bathtub.

Dean reached over and turned on the water, watching as it began to pool and fill up the tub, washing over Cas's sitting form. Dean perched on the toilet next to the tub so he could wash Cas' bloody back.

Dunking the cloth into the warm bath water, Dean began to gently scrub away the semi-dried blood that coated Cas. Dean was careful around Cas' wounds when he was scrubbing. Eventually, he started to move over the open wounds.

"This might sting," he quietly warned Cas, who answered with a listless nod.

Dean gently washed over the wounds from where Cas' wings had been torn from his body. The two long gashes formed an upside-down V on Cas' back.

Once all the blood had been cleaned off, Dean helped Cas to perch on the edge of the bath so Dean could bind his wounds. However, Dean was afraid to try and sew them shut with stiches as he was unaware how Cas would react to that treatment. Instead, he rubbed some ointment on the gashes and started to wrap Cas' torso with bandages.

When Dean was finished, he stood behind Cas, looking down at the listless form of the former angel.

"Cas," Dean whispered as he walked around in front of Cas. Dean knelt down and took Cas' hands in his own.

"Cas look at me, please," Dean practically begged.

Cas looked up at Dean slowly, meeting his eyes with hesitation.

"Cas, I don't blame you for anything that's happened, I hope you know that. No one could have stopped the angels from falling if it was meant to be. We've just got to keep on going forwards, okay? We will all make it."

Dean reached out and cupped Cas' face him his hands. "Trust me, okay?"

When Cas didn't respond, Dean stretched up and placed a soft kiss on Cas' cheek before moving to his ear. Dean placed another gentle kiss near Cas' earlobe as he whispered, "I don't blame you, Cas. Never forget that."

Dean pulled away and stood, leaving the bathroom. He returned a moment later with a set of clean clothes.

"I leave you to change, then," Dean whispered as he set the clothes down on the bathroom counter.

With that, Dean closed the door softly.

* * *

Cas started to emerge from his haze when Dean pulled away from him. He looked over after Dean had left, leaving clean clothes on the counter for Cas who was sitting shirtless and in sopping wet pants from sitting in the bath.

Slowly, Cas hauled himself up from where he was sitting and moved over towards the counter to change.

Cas first exchanged his pants for the clean ones. He paused as he looked down at the trench coat he had actually come to like.

It was then that all of his memories began to flood back to him. Cas gripped the edge of the counter, struggling to steady himself. Images flashed through his head and voices rushed around him.

_It's your fault, Castiel…could have saved them…all your fault…_

"It's my fault…" Cas muttered with the whispering voices. "I could have saved them…"

Cas straightened up and reached for his trench coat. Digging through the pockets, he produced a knife that he had forgotten how it had come by him.

_All traitors must be punished…_ whispered the voices.

"Punished…" Cas muttered.

Cas pressed the cold tip of the metal blade against his arm and began to dig into the tender flesh.

"I…must…be…punished," Cas muttered as he applied more and more force to the blade.

Suddenly, an image of bright green eyes flashed before Cas.

Stunned, Cas' hand went slack and the blade clattered to the floor as he slumped against the wall and passed out, a single tear falling from his eyes.

* * *

Dean heard the clatter from the bathroom and was on his feet in seconds. Knocking on the door softly, Dean called through the wood.

"Cas? Cas, buddy are you alright in there?"

No response came.

Dean desperately tried the doorknob as his heart began to pound erratically. Finding the door to be locked, Dean desperately pounded on the wood.

"Cas! Open up!"

It quickly became evident to Dean that Cas was not going to or was unable to open the door for himself. Dean backed up a pace and kicked the door open with one accurately placed strike.

Rushing into the bathroom, Dean found Cas bleeding from his arm and passed out on the floor.

"Oh, Cas," Dean breathed. "No, no, no!"

Dean rushed forward and checked desperately for Cas' pulse. Upon finding it, Dean dropped his head into the crook of Cas' neck.

"Dammit Cas. I thought I told you not to scare me anymore," he whispered before starting to clean Cas up for the second time that night.

Once he was finished, Dean was struck with the realization that Cas couldn't heal himself anymore now that he had lost his Grace and become a human.

Dean wound his fingers through Cas' hair as he slept.

"Don't worry, Cas. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

* * *

**A/N: Derp :/ Okay sorry for posting so many horrible things in one day...anyways...I'm debating on wether or not I should write more...meh idk, R&R and let me know what you think guys! Thanks!**


	2. Nothing's Fair

_Cas was walking through Heaven, looking around at the darkened halls that used to be filled with light. The glowing domes, the magnificent depictions of human history and future, all of it, had become tarnished and dim and everything was silent._

_Cas walked quickly, searching for any sign of his brothers or sisters, anyone who still remained._

"_Gabriel? Michael?" Cas called. "Father? Anyone?"_

_The only response that came to Cas was the echo of his own desperation._

"_They aren't here anymore, Castiel. You should know that," came a soft hiss of a voice._

_Whirling around, Cas found himself facing Lucifer. Lucifer's eyes were a flaming color and he wore a wicked grin._

"_All the wings of the angels are as broken as yours. And not all of them survived the fall from Heaven, in fact, very few did. And I'm sure they won't last long in the mortal world. They don't all have babysitters like you."_

_Cas' chest felt tight with sorry and rage._

"_Lucifer, how did you get here? You aren't welcome in Heaven."_

_Lucifer shrugged carelessly and spread his grin ever wider. "Well now, since Heaven is now vacant, I thought I could try expanding my territory, maybe do a little remodeling. And there were no guards to stop me at the gate so I let myself in."_

_Cas snarled at the devil before him. "Get out of here, now!"_

"_Oh? And who's going to make me? You maybe? I doubt it would very effective seeing as you lost your wings and your grace."_

_Lucifer cackled and drew closer to Cas, who had began to tremble slightly. Suddenly, all of the playful teasing was gone from Lucifer's voice, his eyes became stony._

"_Now, you aren't the angel I would prefer, but I think, even if this is a dream, that it's time I cast you down like Michael did to me all those years ago."_

_Cas' eyes widened in horror as Lucifer reached for him. "No!" Cas cried out. "No, please! Stop!"_

_But Lucifer ignored Cas' desperate pleas and soon, Cas felt himself falling, the wind whipping past his ears and pulling tears from his eyes. Cas' clothes fluttered around him and he began to feel the searing pain in his back again, just like when his wings had been torn off. Cas cried out into the wind, only to have it whipped away with the wind, rushing past him._

_It felt like years before Cas saw the ground beneath him, closing in quickly, much to quickly. Cas knew that there was nothing he could do now to stop his fall and he prayed that it would be quick. Cas didn't stop to wonder who he was praying to now, he just prayed._

_Cas looked down at the ground as it drew closer and closer until…_

Cas bolted up in bed with a jerk, crying out as he did so. He immediately regretted his movements when searing heat laced across his back where his wounds were located. Hunching forwards, Cas hugged his torso and tried to settle his racing pulse and pounding head.

It took Cas a minute to realize that Dean was next to him, a hand on his shoulder, and his voice calling his name.

"Cas? Cas, what happened? Are you okay?" Dean's fretful voice reached Cas' ears once the pounding had subsided to a dull thud.

Cas straightened up and released a shaky breath. "Y-yes, Dean, I'm okay now. It was just a…bad dream."

Dean squeezed Cas' shoulder sympathetically and tried for a smile. "Yeah, well you're okay now. I got you all bandaged up and we're safe here. So try to relax, okay?"

Cas nodded, wincing when the heat flared in his back again.

Dean's eyes flooded with worry. "Cas? Is it your back? Let me-" Dean stopped mid-sentence when he looked over at Cas' back. "Shit," he cursed under his breath. "Cas, we need to get you to the bathroom. I think you reopened your wounds when you woke up like that."

Cas nodded and slid his legs over the edge of the bed. He tried to stand but found that his stance was wobbly and unable to support his weight. Thankfully, Dean was right behind him, steadying him by the shoulders and guiding him to the bathroom.

Once they were in the bathroom, Dean helped Cas lower himself back into the bathtub. Dean then perched behind him on the edge of the bath. With surprisingly gentle hands, Dean unwound the bandages that covered Cas' torso. Cas winced slightly when he felt the bandages stick in certain places from the amount of blood that had glued them to his back. Dean would mutter words of encouragement anytime Cas flinched.

"You're doing great, Cas. Just a little more left," Dean murmured as he carefully pulled away the last strips of bloody bandages.

"There," Dean said, rubbing Cas' shoulder soothingly. "Wait here and I'll go grab some clean bandages."

Cas felt Dean's body shift behind him and felt a slight ache in his chest when the warmth disappeared with Dean. Cas gave a slight shiver started worrying his fingers together, cracking his knuckles and twiddling his thumbs.

While he sat there waiting, images started flashing across Cas' minds eye from his nightmare. Lucifer's burning eyes, the dark halls of Heaven, falling towards the earth…

Cas shook his head and buried his face in his hands. He wasn't surprised when he felt a slight dampness smeared on his palms. He knew that there were tears falling from his eyes.

_Is this what it feels like to be human? Constantly having emotions, not knowing how to rein them in, control them? I feel so…powerless._

Dean jerked Cas from his thoughts with his sudden presence.

"Alright, Cas. Let's clean you up again. We're gonna do this a little differently so maybe you won't have to change all your clothes again."

Dean set down a bucket filled with water and dunked a small hand towel into the water. Dean set his hand against Cas' shoulder and gently started to rub off the blood around the wounds. The water in the bucket was soon a murky, disgusting color, and the towel was now stained.

"Okay, I'm going to start cleaning the wound now Cas. Tell me if it hurts too much and I'll stop."

At Cas' listless nod, Dean gingerly applied the wet cloth and dabbed as carefully as he could along the long, thin line; all that was left to prove that Cas had once been an angel.

Dean finished quickly, without causing Cas to cry out in pain. He wasn't sure if it was because Cas was too numb to react or if Dean had actually done a decent job. He carefully dried off Cas' back and began to rewrap Cas' torso. The entire time, Cas moved as though he weren't really there, just a puppet following Dean's gentle instructions of where to move.

When Dean finished, he gave Cas' shoulder a gentle pat to indicate that he was finished and Cas could move. As Dean dumped out the murky water into the sink, he glanced over at Cas and found that he hadn't moved at all. Dean set the bucket to the side and walked over to the tub. He perched back on the edge, straddling his legs around Cas. Leaning forwards, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' shoulder and rested his chin on his arms, his nose brushing Cas' ear.

"Cas? What is it? What was your nightmare about?" Dean whispered.

Cas' head drooped slightly and his chest shook slightly. Dean pulled back in shock, realizing that Cas was crying. Dean pulled his leg around from the other side of Cas and slid down into the tub next to him.

"Cas?" Dean said softly, wrapping his arm around Cas' shoulders and pulling him into his side. "Talk to me, Cas. Let me help you, please," Dean, begged softly.

Cas turned his head into Dean's shoulder and shook again with a silent sob. Cas reached over and clutched Dean's shirt in his fists and began to shake more and more frequently with his sobs. Dean sat there and held Cas as tight as he dared, afraid that if he held too tight, he might break the fragile fallen angel.

Dean soothed Cas as he cried and felt a fire start to burn in his chest. Whatever had done this to make Cas so broken; Dean could promise that it was going to burn in hell for all eternity.

But there was a small voice inside Dean' head that reminded him Cas was upset over a dream, just a nightmare. _You can't fight what's inside someone else's head, _he thought miserably. Shaking his head slightly, Dean rubbed Cas' shoulder, trying to calm him down enough to talk as Dean sat helplessly next to him.

It took a while, but Cas finally calmed down enough to the occasional sniffle, still leaning heavily on Dean.

Rubbing Cas' shoulder, Dean looked down at him. "Are you feeling well enough to tell me what's wrong?" Dean asked softly.

Cas nodded meekly into Dean's chest and shifted slightly so he could speak without it sounding muffled. Taking a deep breath, Cas started to relay his nightmare to Dean, all the while never releasing Dean's shirt. When Cas finished, he burrowed back into Dean's shirt, not finding it in himself to meet Dean's eyes.

Dean sat there, silent for a moment. He sighed and cupped Cas' chin in his hand, lifting his abnormally blue eyes to his.

"Cas," Dean said quietly. "I hope you know that I don't blame you for anything that happened yesterday. No one could have stopped that, not even you. We just have to be thankful that you're okay. If what Lucifer said is right, then you were one of the lucky ones who survived. You've got me and Sam looking out for you and we aren't going to let anything happen, okay?"

Cas still couldn't fully look at Dean, hesitation evident in every movement he made. It tore Dean up inside to think that Cas hesitated to trust him because he was so broken and lost that he didn't even know what to do anymore.

"I promise," Dean whispered.

It was then that Cas fully locked eyes with Dean, his sapphire irises clearly displaying his pain, but he nodded despite that and whispered back, "I trust you."

Dean felt his heart swell. He was making progress with Cas, and that was all he cared about at the moment.

"Let's get you back to bed," Dean said gently, standing and pulling Cas up with him.

Dean guided Cas out of the bathroom and back to the dimly lit room where the beds were, the sheets still rumpled from Cas' fit during his nightmare. Dean helped Cas down onto the mattress and stood over him in a very protective manner as Cas got settled in underneath the sheets.

When Cas had finally settled down and his breathing evened out, Dean reached out a brushed back a few stray locks of Cas' brown hair from his forehead. Leaning down, Dean left a light kiss on Cas' brow, lingering for just a small moment before straightening up and walking outside.

Dean leaned against the door to the motel room and let out a heavy sigh. Raising his eyes to the now empty heavens above him, Dean stared at the moon and wondered what he, Sam, and Cas had ever done to deserve the destinies that fate had dished out to them.

"It just doesn't seem fair…" Dean whispered, his voicing hitching in his throat as his chest tightened with a sob.

"It's just not fair that we can be so broken, so caught up in something so beyond us while everyone else gets to live a normal life." Dean balled up his hands into fists and fought against the urge to pound against the door as tears trekked down his cheeks.

"It's not fair…" Dean sobbed again.

"You're right Dean," came a gentle voice. "It isn't fair."

Dean snapped his head around to look over at the owner of the voice. His eyes widened and his breath caught sharply when he gasped in shock.

There was a girl standing a little ways from Dean, her pitch black hair cut into a familiar bob and her dark eyes were gentle and alluring, each quality seeming to contradict the other. The girl wore a soft smile on her paled face as she moved towards Dean.

"Tessa," Dean whispered.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! So I got some requests to keep this story going and I guess I will, I kinda like this plot. Anyways, I hope that this is okay, I never think that anything I write is any good so just ignore me...anyway, R&R guys! I love hearing from you!**


	3. A Flaw in the Plan

Tessa smiled at Dean again. She moved towards him, her steps soundless and swift. Dean looked down at her, wiping his eyes dry.

"Tessa," he said again. "What are you doing here?"

Tessa tilted her head to the side and smiled up at Dean, her expression seeming to say, '_Come on, Dean'._

Dean narrowed his eyes and thought for a moment. Tessa, a reaper, was here standing in front of him, obviously to reap a soul. And she had come to him. Dean's eyes widened and he shook his head, falling back against the wall of the motel. Dean covered his face with his hands and took a shaking breath before looking over at the reaper.

"You're here for Cas, aren't you?"

Tessa gave Dean a small, sad smile and a helpless shrug. "Not exactly, not yet."

Dean stared at Tessa in confusion. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Tessa sighed and moved to stand beside Dean, folding her arms across her chest. "Well, technically, Castiel was supposed to die on that hill after losing his wings. His death was planned out for him to die of blood loss and I was to collect his now human soul. It would have been easier for him to have it end there, much less painful."

Dean looked sidelong at Tessa, not fully understanding what she was getting at. "But?" he prompted.

"But," Tessa sighed again. "Something unexpected happened in the plan." Tessa looked at Dean. "You."

Bewildered, Dean looked over fully at the reaper. "Me?"

"You weren't supposed to find Castiel in time, you weren't supposed to find him at all actually. But you did. Death didn't plan on you being so attached to that angel that you would actually go after him and save his soul. But you did."

"So what you're saying is, you were sent here to reap Cas' soul, but now you're not going to?" Dean's heart gave a small jump of hope. He didn't want to let Cas go, not now, not ever.

"I still could, Dean. I was supposed to in the first place so I could reap him at any time. However, since the plan didn't go accordingly, I don't have to. And since Castiel isn't really in a condition to make the choice for his self, I'm leaving it up to you."

Dean opened his mouth to answer her, knowing full well that he was going to refuse Tessa's offer to reap his friend's soul. But before he could even form a word, Tess had held up a hand and continued speaking.

"But, before you answer, remember that it isn't just you this choice affects. Take into consideration what Castiel might be feeling right now. He's just lost his grace and wings; all of Heaven has fallen due to his actions and now he's lying injured and practically useless in that motel room. He was supposed to die, maybe you should just let him."

Dean stared at Tessa for a long moment, absorbing everything she had just said. Dean shook his head and looked at his feet, his chest tight.

"I want Cas to be happy, but I won't let you take him, Tessa."

"Dean," Tessa whispered, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. "I know how close you are to him, but consider his mental health. Don't be so opposed to death. It doesn't hurt and it's honestly better once it's all over."

"But there's no Heaven anymore, Tessa!" Dean protested, shrugging off Tessa's cold hand from his shoulder. "Where would his soul go if you took it? Maybe it would be easier for Cas to die, to just give up and let go. But that's not how Winchester's are raised. We fight to the end."

"Castiel isn't a Winchester, Dean. He's a fallen angel, a broken soul that wasn't created to be human. He's experiencing human emotions for the first time and he doesn't know how to handle them. They're going to engulf him sooner or later and destroy him. You saw what he did to himself when he was alone for one minute. Imagine how much worse it's going to get."

"It doesn't matter if Cas wasn't born a Winchester. He's spent enough time with us to understand that you can't just give up. And I don't give a crap about how you've already given up on him. I'm giving him a chance and I'm going to help him. I'm not going to abandon him. He's family. Family doesn't end with blood."

"That's the problem Dean!" Tessa shouted, catching Dean off guard. He took a step back and stared at the usually calm reaper. "Castiel has spent too much time with you; you and your broken family that doesn't end with blood!"

Dean looked at Tessa in shock, her words cutting deep. Setting his jaw, Dean's eyes took on a dangerous light and he advanced on the reaper. "I don't give a crap about what you think. You and your supernatural world wormed its way into my life and destroyed it. Your precious Heaven could have stopped this but now it's too late! Cas is the once thing from your world that doesn't piss me off every time I look at him so I think I'll keep him around. And Cas belongs to my world now, not yours. So do us all a favor and stay away."

Tessa held Dean's gaze evenly, her eyes dark and cold. After a long stretched out silence where the two stared each other down, Tessa sighed and hung her head in defeat, holding up her hands in surrender. "Fine, Dean. But my offer is open for whenever you think Castiel can't handle human life. I just hope you know that you aren't doing him any favors by letting him live."

Dean set his jaw again and continued to stare at Tessa silently, indicating that their conversation was over and he wasn't budging on his decision.

Tessa huffed and turned to leave. Before she vanished, Tessa looked over her shoulder at Dean and said, "You know, just because Lucifer is in Heaven now, doesn't mean he's condemned the souls that are there. He may have once been an angel, but he has to find the way to their Heaven before he can do anything to them. Castiel would be safe, because the reapers haven't given up."

And with that, Tessa vanished into thin air, leaving Dean staring at the empty sidewalk where she had been before.

* * *

Dean pushed open the door of the motel room, letting out an exhausted sigh as he leaned on the door to close it. The dimly lit room was silently save for the deep steady breathing of Cas as he slept.

Dean made his way over to the fridge and popped open the door, producing a beer from one of the shelves and sighing through his nose as he popped open the bottle. As he downed the tangy drink, Dean couldn't help but mull over what Tessa had said. Dean knew that he couldn't let Cas go, not yet. But her argument had been very convincing. What if Dean could protect Cas by letting Tessa reap his soul? Dean could allow him to go back to Heaven where he would be safe and happy. And if what Tessa had said was true, than Lucifer couldn't get into the part of Heaven where all the souls of the deceased relived their happiest memories for the rest of eternity.

Dean set the bottle to the side on the countertop, running a hand through his hair as his mind tossed around possibilities about what to do from here. It was obvious that they couldn't leave yet. Cas would never survive a long drive while his back was still raw with those wounds of his.

A glance at the clock showed that it was long into the night. Deciding that it was definitely time to hit the hay before it became too late to do so, Dean shrugged off his worn leather jacket and draped it over the back of a chair. Heading over to Cas' bed, Dean bent down to check on his injured friend. Dean rested his hand on Cas' forehead, checking for any signs of illness or fever for good measure. Once Dean was convinced that Cas wasn't sick, Dean started to straighten up. But he couldn't turn away. A hand stayed Dean's movements, causing him to look back down at Cas.

"Dean?" Cas whispered in a groggy voice. He tilted his head to glance at the clock before looking back to Dean. "Why are you awake?"

Dean smiled softly down at Cas before saying, "I couldn't get to sleep. But don't worry, I was just about to lay down for the night."

Cas tugged on Dean's wrist as he tried to leave Cas' bedside again. "There's plenty of room here. You don't have to take the couch."

"Cas," Dean said, exasperation and exhaustion thick in his voice.

Dean was about to start protesting again when he locked eyes with Cas. Those stunning blues just seemed to stop his voice from working and bored into him, crumbling his will. With a resigned sigh, Dean gave Cas a nudge.

"Fine, move your ass over then."

Cas shifted over to the opposite side of the bed and grinned at Dean as he climbed into bed with Cas. Dean glanced over at Cas and found his triumphant grin. "Oh shut up, Cas," Dean growled in mock annoyance.

Settling in, Dean rolled over to face Cas and found that Cas was already fast asleep and snuggled up close to Dean. Dean gave a breathy laugh and moved to wrap his arm around Cas protectively, drawing him closer.

Dean fell asleep, staring down at Cas as he held him, thinking, _I won't let you go anywhere, not without me._

* * *

**A/N: Okay so I'm REALLY sorry that this was so long waited for and that it's short and shitty. I promise things will start to get better in the next chapter. I had finals and I tried to write this while I was studying and then I didn't get to update until now. *falls to knees* forgive me guys! I love you for tolerating me! R&R if you'd like.**


	4. Just a Spark of Hope

Dean stirred from his slumber; a loud and persistent sound was driving its way through his sleepy haze. The noise was high-pitched and extremely annoying, aggravating Dean's ears to no end. Thinking it was the alarm clock, Dean rolled over to smack it roughly on the snooze button. Once he had done so, Dean started to roll over to fall back asleep, only to realize that the noise had yet to cease. With a growl of annoyance, Dean sat up and fumbled for the clock, muttering profanities at the device. Blinking open his eyes and clearing away the sleepy haze, Dean looked around the room and found Cas flitting about in the kitchenette, a frantic air about him.

"Shit!" Dean cursed, scrambling out of bed and tossing aside the alarm clock as he did. There was something on the stove that was burning profusely, causing the fire alarm to go off, revealed to be the source of the noise.

Cas turned when he heard Dean's voice; his blue irises were alight with fear and desperation.

"Dean!" Cas said above the shrill noise. "The small creature on the ceiling won't stop screaming! I don't know how to make it stop!"

Dean was in such a panic he didn't even have time to spare Cas his usual incredulous look at his odd way of identifying mundane things. Dean grabbed a near by fire extinguisher and put out the tragedy on the stovetop. He then used a towel to move the pan off the burner and turned off the flame. Finally, he grabbed a broom and hit the alarm in the right spot to shut it off.

Dean sighed and turned to face Cas, annoyance masking the worried undertones in his voice.

"What the hell, Cas? Are you trying to burn the room down? If you didn't like it here you could have just said so!"

Cas winced and leaned against the countertop. He looked dejected and scared, causing a stab of guilt to go through Dean.

"Hey, Cas buddy I'm sorry. You just scared me is all. What were you trying to do?" Dean put aside the broom and walked over to look at the charred contents of the pan that had been burning moments before.

Cas moved to stand next to Dean and gave a half-hearted shrug.

"I was feeling better this morning so I thought maybe I would try and make you some breakfast. But I guess I let the stove get to hot and things started burning and then that creature on the ceiling wouldn't stop screaming."

Dean looked at Cas and chuckled. "Cas that thing isn't an animal. It's a device called a fire alarm. If it detects enough smoke in the air inside the room, it will start going off to alert anyone inside or anyone who can hear it that there's potentially a fire."

"Oh," Cas said, awe evident in his voice as he gazed up at the device. "Should I thank it for alerting us?"

Dean looked over at Cas from where he had started to clean out the charred contents of the pan into the sink.

"No, Cas. You don't have to thank it. It's an inanimate object so it won't answer you."

Cas stared at the alarm for a few more seconds before turning to Dean. He moved to stand at his shoulder and peered down at Dean's hands as they worked away at the mess.

Dean glanced at Cas and smiled. "You want to help me make something that we can actually eat?"

Cas nodded, eager to redeem himself in the breakfast division. "What should I do?"

Dean continued to scrub away at the pan as he answered. "Okay, do you know where the eggs, milk, butter and bread are in the fridge?"

Cas thought for a moment and then nodded. "Should I get them out?"

Dean finished scrubbing the pan and started to rinse out the soap that coated it. "Yeah, and after you do that, also pull out a bowl."

Cas nodded and moved towards the fridge. He ducked inside the fridge and emerged a moment later with the bread, eggs, butter, and milk in his arms. He closed the fridge and deposited the ingredients on the countertop before shifting through the cupboards for a bowl, which he quickly found and placed next to the other things.

Dean, whilst Cas did all this, finished cleaning the pan and pulled out a whisk from a drawer. He looked over the things Cas had gotten out and nodded. Dean grabbed two eggs and quickly broke them and let the yolks fall into the bowl. Next he gestured Cas over and gave him the milk carton.

"Okay, start pouring in the milk until I tell you when," Dean instructed.

Cas opened the carton and began to pour the milk into the bowl. After the contents of the eggs were completely surrounded by milk, Dean told Cas to stop pouring. Cas obeyed and closed the carton before setting it aside. Dean grabbed the whisk off the counter and showed Cas how to stir with it.

"Can you do it just like this? You want to stir it quickly so that it all mixes together but not so quickly that it starts flying everywhere."

Cas watched Dean do this for a moment before nodding. Dean smiled and handed off the bowl and whisk to Cas before going over to the stove. Dean turned on the stovetop and set the pan on a burner. He took some butter and let it slide around the surface as it melted, making a sizzling sound. Dean looked over and saw that Cas was pretty much finished with his task.

"Alright," Dean said, moving over towards Cas. "You can stop mixing now," Dean told Cas as he reached for the loaf of bread.

"How many pieces do you want, Cas?" Dean asked as he pulled out four for himself.

Cas thought for a moment before saying, "The same as you."

Dean nodded and pulled out four more pieces of bread before setting the loaf aside. He then walked over towards the bowl that Cas had been stirring moments before and moved it closer to the stove. He then showed Cas how to quickly dip the slices of bread into the bowl to cover them with the contents before he set three pieces of the now covered bread into the wide pan.

Dean would occasionally move the bread around, causing them to sizzle. After about a minute, Dean flipped the bread so the other side could cook, exposing the golden brown side that had been finished.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said. "Can you pull down two plates from the cabinet over there?"

Cas nodded and headed over to the cabinet. As he was doing so, Dean turned his attention to the pan, pushing the pieces of bread around so they wouldn't burn so easily and stick to the pan. Dean decided that the toast was done so he moved the pan to a different burner so it wouldn't become charred while he waited for the plate.

Suddenly, there was a clatter behind him followed by a thud. Dean whirled around and found Cas crumpled on the floor with a few plates scattered around him.

"Cas!" Dean cried, rushing over to him. Dean carefully helped Cas up into a sitting position. Cas winced and put a hand to his back.

"Cas what happened?" Dean asked fretfully, looking at Cas' back to see if there was any blood coming through the bandages.

Cas shook his head and sighed. "I think I just stretched to far and strained my wounds. I'll be fine in a moment."

Dean still looked anxious as he helped Cas to a chair at the table. Once Cas was settled and Dean was sure he was going to be okay, Dean went back over to the stove to finished breakfast. He grabbed a plate and quickly finished cooking all the toast, sliding the pieces onto the plate when they were done. Before taking the plate over to the table, Dean sprinkled some cinnamon over the bread and grabbed two extra plates.

Dean slid a plate in front of Cas and set the platter with the toast in between the two of them as Dean sat down opposite Cas with his plate. They ate quickly and in total silence. There wasn't much to talk about after all. But they both knew that was a lie. There was so much to talk about, endless conversations that neither wanted to start or would know how to finish; and so they remained quiet.

When they had both eaten their fill, Dean gathered up the dishes, carrying them over to the sink while Cas got the water and soap ready in the sink so they could wash and dry together.

Once all the dishes had been cleaned and put away, Cas started to walk over towards the bed to sleep again. Dean bit his lip and reached out, grasping Cas' wrist in his hand, stopping him. Cas looked over his shoulder at Dean with surprise flitting across his ocean blue irises.

"Dean?" Cas said softly.

Dean smiled and gave Cas a little tug towards the door, grabbing the keys to the Impala as he did so.

"Come on. If I'm stuck with you, you might as well know how to gank a monster and fire a gun."

Cas stared at Dean for a moment, thinking that he was joking around and really just wanted to go and grab an early morning pie from the shop down the way. But there was a different kind of sparkle in Dean's eyes that Cas could see, some kind of excitement that came out of teaching someone something new.

Cas felt a smile creeping onto his face and he nodded, grabbing a coat Dean had leant him from a nearby chair before following Dean out of the motel.

* * *

They had driven not far down the road from the motel to a nearby stretch of forest. Dean had propped open the trunk of the Impala and pulled out a large piece of wood with an arrangement of circles drawn on it that formed a makeshift target. He had then dug through the contents of the trunk again and produced a gun. After setting up the target, Dean began to show Cas how to use the gun.

"So you just flip this catch right here and the magazine well will slide out," Dean instructed as he demonstrated with the pistol he held.

"Then you just check the magazine to make sure that it's loaded, slide it back into place, check the slide," Dean readied the gun, looking at Cas as he cocked the gun before handing it over towards Cas.

"And you're good to go."

Cas took the gun with wide eyes and hesitant hands, staring at the small device curiously. He looked up at Dean with those large blue eyes and then glanced at the target.

"Should I shoot?"

Dean stood aside and gave Cas a sweeping gesture towards the target. "Be my guest."

Cas stood facing the target, both hands steadying the gun as he took aim. Cas moved his finger towards the trigger and readied himself to fire the gun. A resounding crack echoed through the trees, a flock of startled birds taking off in a flurry somewhere nearby.

Dean glanced over at the target and found that Cas had struck the edge of the farthest circle with the bullet. Cas looked over at Dean, a tinge of flush covering his cheeks. Dean chuckled and moved towards Cas, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey man it's alright. That's better than most people would do on their first round with a gun. You just have to adjust your stance because I know you can aim."

Dean stood behind Cas and placed his hands on Cas' hips. Dean heard Cas suck in a sharp breath and he twitched away from Dean's touch, glancing over at him.

Dean sighed and gestured for Cas to come back. "Trust me," he said calmly. "I'm readjusting your stance. You wanna live, don't you?"

Cas hesitated a moment before moving back into place. Dean repositioned his hands on Cas' hips and pivoted his body a bit so he was better lined up with the target.

"There," Dean said, still standing near Cas. "Now try firing the gun at the target again."

Cas glanced sidelong at Dean before lifting the gun and taking a careful aim at the target. When Cas' finger met the trigger, there was another resounding crack, and when Dean looked at the target, the bullet mark was almost perfectly in the center.

Looking over at Cas, Dean saw that his eyes were fixed on that one point and they were shining brighter than the stars ever did and Dean thought with satisfaction, maybe Tessa was wrong. Maybe there was hope for Cas.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm not dead! Sorry this took so long to upload! I've been a bit busy with a show and work and then this website wasn't connecting with my internet so I couldn't upload when I wanted to...anyways! Here's the next chapter and I hope you guys enjoy it! R&R please, I love when you do!**


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